50 Reasons a Dog is Better than
a Man
1. Spots are an attractive
feature on a dog.
2. A dog is better protection
from intruders.
3. Dogs
enjoy ball games. But they don't spend six hours on the
phone trying to get tickets for France 98.
4. Dogs
greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite.
5. Puppy
love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog.
6. You
can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog.
7. Dogs
can find their way back home - even after a really heavy
night out.
8. Dogs
can be trained not to lie on the bed. Men always lie in
bed.
9. A
dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature
baldness.
10. Dogs
can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!"
12. When
dogs beg, it's cute. When men beg it's pathetic.
13. A
'King Charles' is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared
dog than a big floppy-eared man.
14. You
can also call a dog schitzu without offending it.
15. "Working
like a dog" is strenuous. Working like a man is, er - not.
16. You
can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested.
17. A
dog will encourage you to lose weight by taking more exercise.
A man will just remark on how big your bum looks.
18. Dogs
do not attack other dogs for being a different colour.
19. Having
a dog around the place can actually ease stress.
20. You'd
feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street.
21. A
dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without
drinking ANY.
22. There
aren't so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public.
23. You
can buy a dog's affection with a squeaky toy.
24. A
dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi.
25. Most
dogs are really good with children.
26. Dogs
have a highly-developed sense of smell. Men, on the other
hand, can quite happily wear the same pair of pants for
a fortnight.
27. A
dog is more useful for tracking down criminals.
28. Who
did YOU miss most from Blue Peter - John Noakes or Shep?
29. A
dog might actually take a bath of its own accord.
30. There's
more chance of your dog being able to operate the video
recorder.
31. You
can buy a choke-chain for a dog.
32. A
16-year-old dog is very mature.
33. A
dog is easier to keep well-groomed.
34. Dogs
have more chance of receiving an award for bravery.
35. Dogs
are easier to house-train.
36. Dog
do not scratch themselves so much in polite company.
37. A
dog can look as though it understands what you're saying.
38. Dogs
went into space first.
39. A
man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to
get up and make coffee.
40. Dogs
enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in
bikinis.
41. Being
a dog's mistress is no reason to feel ashamed.
42. You
can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving.
43. Saggy
skin and a hang-dog look aren't half as appealing on a man.
44. A dog in a studded collar isn't kinky.
45. Few men would answer to 'Lassie'.
46. A dog is a pack animal. A man is a six-pack animal.
47. Dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they're with the police.
48. Dogs aren't obsessed with 'doing it man-fashion'.
49. A dog is a faithful companion.
50. A
dog is for life.
