"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog
has a problem." -- Edward Abbey
"The reason a dog has so many friends is that
he wags his tail instead of his tongue." --Anonymous
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always
go with you in the car, in case the need should arise
for them to bark violently at nothing right in your
ear." -- Dave Barry
"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they
keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant
dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking
dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent,
are often continued in the next yard."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down." --
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves
you more than he loves himself."
-- Josh Billings
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's
importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship
him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke
Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice,
puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" --
Dr. Tom Cat
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when
you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron
"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can
spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give
us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" --M.
"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies,
quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love
and always have to mix love and hate." --Sigmund
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men
and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." --
Robert A. Heinlein
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot
about puppies." -- Gene Hill
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the
constant popularity of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." --
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like
never washed a dog."
--Franklin P. Jones
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive
evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining
room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can
hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best
friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." --
"No one appreciates the very special genius of
your conversation as the dog does."
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he
sees us peeing in his water bowl."
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why
you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their
lives." -- Sue Murphy
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I
die I want to go where they went."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average
person." --Andrew A. Rooney
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members
of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards
who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." --
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it
is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven,
and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you; that is the principal difference
between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I
mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the
most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They
must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" --
"My dog is worried about the economy because
Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in
dog money." --Joe Weinstein
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a
puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams
"Cat's motto No matter what you've done wrong,
always try to make it look like the dog did it." --
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender,
your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He
will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat
of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such
devotion." -- Unknown
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough
"In dog years, I'm dead." -- Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it
won't buy the wag of his tail."
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the
hydrant." -- Unknown
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually
unnoticed by a Great Dane."