Ten top ways to tell if Martha Stewart is stalking
10. There's potpourri hanging from his/her collar.
9. The dog's nails have been cut with pinking shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water
5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped
out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal
icing using a #2 rosette tip.
4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets
for nesting material for the birds.
3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns
the front of your dog's crate.
2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing
a thyme colored virgin wool hand-knitted sweater with
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART
IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS...
1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted