How to Tell if Martha Stewart
is Stalking your Dogs
Ten top ways
to tell if Martha Stewart is stalking your dog
10. There's potpourri hanging from his/her
collar.
9. The dog's nails have been cut with pinking
shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy
crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated
with raffia bows.
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new
silver water bowl.
5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats
stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with
royal icing using a #2 rosette tip.
4. Dog hair has been collected and put into
wire baskets for nesting material for the birds.
3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath
adorns the front of your dog's crate.
2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes
in wearing a thyme colored virgin wool hand-knitted sweater
with matching boots.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA
STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS...
1. The dog droppings in your backyard have
been sculpted into swans.
