How To Prepare for
a Puppy
Pour cold apple
juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot
in the dark.
Wear a sock to work that has
had the toes shredded by a blender.
Immediately upon waking, stand
outside in the rain and dark saying, "Be a good puppy,
go potty now - hurry up - come on, lets go!"
Cover all your best suits with
dog hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits
must use dark hair.
Float some hair in your first
cup of coffee in the morning.
Play "catch" with
a wet tennis ball.
Run out in the snow in your
bare feet to close the gate.
Tip over a basket of clean
laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.
Leave your underwear on the
living room floor, because that's where the dog will drag
it anyway, especially when you have company.
Jump out of your chair shortly
before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the
door shouting, "No no! Do that OUTSIDE!" Miss
the end of the program.
Put chocolate pudding on the
carpet in the morning, and don't try to clean it up until
you return from work that evening.
Gouge the leg of the dinning
room table several times with a screwdriver -it's going
to get chewed on anyway.
Take a warm and cuddly blanket
out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself.
This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep
on your lap.
--Author Unknown
